I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
