Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
