all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
