I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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