why didn't you poke me back
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he just fucked me for my cheese.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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