Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
