ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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