im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
