If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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