My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
