This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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