but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
