I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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