I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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