Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
