Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
