Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
