There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
