You really coming over, don't trick.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
why is half of my head shaved?
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