YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
