i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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