i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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