i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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