Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
