I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
