why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
