YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
