Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
