Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
