I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
