i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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