Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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