i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dick very happy bro
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
