is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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