So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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