just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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