They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
