physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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