Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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