pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
