On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
