sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i need some magic done to my vagina
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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