Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
