i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
