i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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