and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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