I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
