Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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