My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
