so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
