Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
